Rain in a story, story of love indeed :)

so far u only know how i am truly in love with rain, don't u?

but, do u know why i love rain?

the reason will drag me to a solemn feel of heart.. it will take me into a sobbing, and tears will tear me apart. it does hurt my self so huge to show this off. i instead can't bear to hold it my self and pretend as if i am so strong keeping it tightly. i need friend to share with and tell how i am truly in pain... 

Rain reminds me to my dad, it's such an ironic; i feel happy and sad in the same time whenever rain falls to the earth. i don't see how it touches the ground and absorbed the pores and vanished. i see rain when it flies on the air and sings to me, approaches me telling how my dad presents all the time at the bottom of my heart. i bet u still dun get this point rite?

well, it was a long time ago. when my little tiny body grew in a spoiled kinda personality along with my little brother...we spent the evenings during the rainy season with our beloved dad in the bedroom, he patted our heads with love, his mouth full of wonderful stories and fairy tails. well, u can't even say it a fairy tail, it was like a creepy and old story which was supposed to be his own childhood story as well. we were yanked and hided in the blanket, as if it would give us any convey...and he would laugh how his story worked on, it was so ridiculous when we ultimately realized the whole story was only a fictive, but above all, we always waited for his stories whenever rain came over in the evening...because we knew he would wrap us in a warm smile and hugged each of us in different arm of his...

i miss my dad

i miss my dad

i miss him handing me the magazine, after i cried to beg him buying me one

i miss him hugging me after i won in speech competition

i miss his confusing face when i told him about how so many ambitions i had

i miss him answering my questions

i miss him watching the news every morning and evening together

i miss his expression when he heard i joined different extracurriculars at the beginning of my middle school year

i miss his paces to the mosque every jumuah prayer

i miss his voices echoing in my old house reminding me to finish my chores

i miss his childhood stories, how i know that he was just a naughty boy :)

i miss my dad's angry face when i touched his cell phone for texting the quizzes on tv

i miss my dad's smile when i made him proud of my work

i miss my dad when he fought with someone for defending his own right, this taught me to be the way who he was

i miss my dad's critical thinking

i miss my dad's braveness

those all gone...

the gathering he used to hold in our house with his friends....it's all gone

his friends can't stand to see my mom cries

the happiness we used to have...it's all gone

along with my dad's presence 

i wanna hold his hands in my dream, i wanna tell him bunch of stories i have

because he passed so many things i did

he is not beside me to listen to my stories how many times i had fusses with mom because i grew older and faced puberty

he is not here to see how many times i had crush on guys

i bet he would kick their ankles,

dad...some of them are cheater! 

he is not here when i successfully gain prestigious achievements...

but all those achievements are for you,dad

he is not here when i am alone in the middle of college striving...

but your motivation will guide me all the time,dad.

Miss you dad!